Whether in our career goals, personal fitness goals or in our relationships we have all experienced failure. If you’re saying that you have never experience failure then you’re failing at being honest. All jokes aside, the thought patterns that follow our failures determine how we move forward into the future. Here are a few unhealthy ways of thinking about failure that will seriously hinder productivity and forward momentum:
It can be easy to become pessimistic after you’ve experienced an epic fail. Your tendency will be to say that you’re not good enough or that you lacked the talent to try in the first place. All of that is nonsense and it’s an unhealthy way to deal with and recover from a failure. There is no real recovery in that at all. The healthy thing to do is realistically look at why things didn’t work out and then work towards improving for next time.
The culture of the world today insists that you need a lot of prerequisites before you can become successful and happy. In the end when we don’t have that degree, or we don’t quite have the income we wanted it can seem like we’re failing. The truth is, you’re only failing when you stop trying to achieve what you know you should be achieving. Let go of the shame of not living up to what everyone else says is “perfect” and reach for what is going to make you fulfilled. Don’t stress so much about whether you’ve met all of your goals and just keep shooting for the stars. Shame has no place in helping you to move forward into your dreams so don’t even give it the time of day when you feeling it coming on.
Look, your going to fail at a few things in life. Accept it and stop being afraid of it. Everyone fails and everyone has to get back up and move on. Learn how to handle failure well and there is a whole lot less to be afraid of.
Self Pity / Sadness
If there is one thing I know about people with a victim mentality, it’s that they never stop being a victim. Once you open the door to self pity and self victimization it’s hard to close it. It feels good to feel bad for yourself sometimes, but the problem is that it never allows you to acknowledge where you went wrong because it’s always someone else’s fault. If you aren’t able to see what you need to adjust about yourself, you will never be able to become the success you intended to be. Also, people will hate being around you and that’s not very good for success either.